


The Weight of Simplicity

by nonky



Series: The Kind Series [3]
Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: F/M, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-22
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-10-09 04:29:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10403967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonky/pseuds/nonky
Summary: Jane shrugged. She could feel tears rising, and part of her wanted to ignore her instincts and hope tomorrow felt normal again. She'd liked being a single woman who went on quiet dates with a nice man. "We were in the early stages and I was really enjoying how simple it all was. I didn't want to ruin it with half-truths."He nodded, and looked over his shoulder at the cabin where they'd been locked up. "It's safe to say it's not simple anymore," Oliver said sadly. "Are you crying because I ruined it?"





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based loosely on spoilers for 2x16.

Jane had once told Weller she didn't have a frame of reference for being okay, and having one seemed to raise expectations for normality she'd once have thought of as luxuries.

Oliver slept in her bed, both of them peaceful. He curled around her to keep her warm, and slipped a little away to his own pillow when they were overheated. He kissed her tattoos, giving them nicknames like waterwheel and Hootie. His favourite was a banner looped around her upper thigh he called the gift bow.

Jane felt him trying to give her acceptance, trying to embue her with some of his own assurance. She still didn't know what happened to him to cause his name change, but she wouldn't bring it up without his prompting. It was obviously painful and she liked to see Oliver smiling. His outlook was always positive, and she was trying to leave the bad at work. 

"I kind of like the tattoos," he said one day, and only when she flinched did he realize she hadn't wanted them. He overcorrected, babbling. "But on you I like everything, because you're beautiful."

Most importantly, Oliver didn't start questioning how a person ended up covered in tattoos against her will. He kissed the inside of her wrist, on a rare bare spot of skin. He changed the subject to something safer, and Jane learned to trust him to read her well and respect her silence. 

Sometimes she felt like Oliver needed to know about Shepherd, but he'd passed the FBI's background checks. He wasn't connected to Sandstorm in any overt way. Her security detail did checks to make sure no one watched Oliver to get to her.

She might be asking for trouble, later. Today she was okay with being fooled the way anyone falling in love might be fooled. 

Jane woke to the feeling of being gathered to a warm body, her sleepy mind somewhat confused by the lack of heavy muscles. She felt his arms, Oliver's fashionable sleekness to fill out suits. 

Fractured memories tried to make a threesome of their closeness, other men slipping between her sheets like ghosts.

She missed Oscar's bulk and the sheer conviction of his body, the muscle memory of being his most important possession and his religion at once. In the morning, she missed the ease of a man she'd chosen irrevocably, content in his worship. She missed the desperation of his love, the mingling of celebration that she was there to be held and the mourning that she was going to leave him.

She could no more have chosen Oscar than she could have turned him down. In hindsight, the hope of having someone familiar and in love with her was as potent as any intoxication.

At night, she sometimes wondered how it would be if Kurt had been able to see she was in trouble and intervened. She wondered if he'd have taken her in and she would never have been tortured by Carter. If Oscar had left her alone, she would have been with Kurt every night. They might have started sleeping together, and been bonded before the DNA test was debunked. When the fracture came, there might have been a modest beginning to hold them up. 

Oliver had no guile or intensity. He liked her, a lot. He was attracted and generous. He was all consideration, with a healthy dose of lust and just enough persistence. Their relationship was a real, public, understandable bond she could navigate without guilt or pretense of caring more or less than she should.

It hurt to lose that purity. After they'd survived the ordeal of being hostages in a cabin - her second of two unsuccessful attempts at camping - Jane wasn't injured badly. They'd lived, and she was grateful. 

She couldn't stop crying, tears leaking out of her eyes as if Oliver himself had turned on her. He was a little beat up, but mostly he was desperately apologetic. He kept calling to her and Jane kept huddling behind different emergency vehicles, hugging herself and sobbing. 

Weller had made her sit long enough to be cleared by paramedics, but now she couldn't even bear having a blanket over her shoulders. She slipped away and was avoiding Oliver through the crowd of people who'd found them. 

It was ruined. It wasn't his fault he'd been in a bad situation and changed his whole life to get himself out. Jane was in no position to judge Oliver's escape. She wasn't angry. Her fresh start had burned down around her, all the potential to fall in love too fragile to survive. 

She wanted to face Oliver and give him the decency of an explanation, but she just couldn't handle having that conversation. It was humiliating to be weeping like a civilian. She was nearly hysterical, and Jane just needed a little time to convince her body this reaction was too much.

Her heart felt like spun glass she'd pieced together and had it kicked apart. There were a few more pieces missing with every disappointment. After things with Kurt had gone so far and never really recovered, she'd been fine with never trying again. Oliver's charm was surprising, and she had felt safe with him. Weller and the team had been supportive. She'd been careful, gingerly allowing only the smallest steps for weeks. 

Jane's trust felt like the universe's cue to flatten her. She just needed progress, somewhere her life held together. Having Roman back was full of hardship and things with the team held together by the work of fighting Shepherd. She'd had a tiny shelter with Oliver, and a window into some better life for the future.

"Jane, please speak to me! Please!"

Oliver was in front of her, closely followed by Weller. The two men jostled accidentally, and Kurt pushed Oliver away from her. She should do something, but Jane only flinched and whimpered.

"She needs some quiet right now," he said. "I think that's obvious. If you know Jane, you know she's not dramatic about things. I know she's not injured, so now I need to make sure she's going to be okay. I feel like that's going to be easier if you back off."

She was cowering, her hands over her face as she slid down the side of the ambulance to crouch. Her lungs were starting to hurt, but the tears continued. Maybe it was all the combined strain of everything, but she couldn't handle making a choice about anything. 

"I don't know if you're really her brother-" Oliver began. 

"Oh, Jesus," Reade breathed, his tact failing him at the awkwardness of the moment. 

The rest of the team must have been running interference, checking up to make sure Weller didn't follow through on the seething anger she could hear in his voice when he spoke to Oliver. Jane didn't want to have to explain who they were in relation to her. She wasn't sure why she'd tried to pass Kurt off as a family member. It was a flimsy lie to anyone who saw them interact regularly.

"Jane?" Tasha was kneeling down next to her, having squeezed past the three men. "I don't want you on the cold ground, honey. You don't even have a coat. We've been looking for you all day. Can I help you up?"

Two soft hands got her by her elbows, urging her up slowly. Tasha hugged her with a delicate motion, the finesse a comfort that let Jane choose to go with her. 

"I know it was a hard day. I'm glad you're okay," Tasha said, her voice gentle before it went harsh for the hovering men to hear. "And I'm sure all this weird confrontational manly shit isn't helping you. Reade has a blanket and a hot drink for you and we're going to get you home so you can rest."

Jane meant to say thank you, but choked and coughed instead. She could practically feel Weller overreact and Oliver's panic. Tasha just waved them off and patted Jane's back. 

"You're frozen, let's wrap you up and get you in the car," she said. "I'll get you some tissues and then we'll calmly discuss who does what to help you feel better."

Reade put a blanket around her, giving a single slight pat to her shoulder as he pulled away. Jane walked with her arm around Tasha, her eyes sore from crying. 

"Patterson said she'd get Roman a phone to talk to you once you're ready," Tasha told her. 

"You shouldn't have told him I was missing. He's not supposed to have stress." She said it without irony, worried about her brother now that she knew he'd been waiting to hear about her safety. 

"He was in the room when we found out you were missing. He knows we found you and you're okay," Reade said, loyally being the buffer between Weller and Oliver as Tasha rescued Jane from her worried suitors.

Jane wondered how long Reade had been waiting with a blanket and coffee for Tasha to lose patience with the standoff as Weller tried to get near her without letting Oliver do the same. He hadn't done anything wrong, but putting her in danger was going to put him past forgiveness for Kurt. 

"I gave him a quick phone call, and he seemed okay," Kurt called. 

Oliver was looking puzzled, his body language uncertain as he tried to piece together the personal details from the bare conversations. 

"I don't understand. I've never heard you mention Roman," Oliver asked. "Is that your nephew?"

"No, Roman isn't her nephew," Weller said shortly. His tone gave an implication designed to fuel rumours, and Jane felt her head start to pound. "Jane and I look after him. He had a trauma a few months ago."

"This might not be the time to stir the pot, Boss," Reade said quietly. "It's complicated, Mr. Kind. It's not really my place to explain."

Lost to the back of the group, Oliver slowed down and seemed to square off to take a stand. "Kurt's not your brother, is he? I mean, maybe he's family, but he's not a blood relative. Do you guys have a child together? Roman?"

Jane shrugged away from Tasha and glanced at her, giving her a nod that asked for a minute. She turned back and deliberately walked past Weller to Oliver. 

"Kurt and I are co-workers. The thing is, for a few months we were fooled into thinking I was his neighbour who'd gone missing as a child - a little girl he loved very much like his own sister," she said hoarsely. "We got close and then we found out we'd been fooled and anything personal fell apart. We were never officially anything, we don't have a child together. We're trying to be friends and that's hard sometimes. Roman is my brother. He had his memories wiped like mine were, but more recently. He needs a lot of help interacting normally with the world, and he's in some legal trouble."

Oliver's eyes were wide, but he nodded and didn't press. "Okay. I didn't . . . You could have told me about those things."

Jane shrugged. She could feel tears rising, and part of her wanted to ignore her instincts and hope tomorrow felt normal again. She'd liked being a single woman who went on quiet dates with a nice man. "We were in the early stages and I was really enjoying how simple it all was. I didn't want to ruin it with half-truths."

He nodded, and looked over his shoulder at the cabin where they'd been locked up. "It's safe to say it's not simple anymore," Oliver said sadly. "Are you crying because I ruined it?"

Jane hated how understanding he was, how he would walk away if she asked and only ever talk about her fondly. Oliver was a good man, and he was good for her. And something inside her couldn't warm like before when she looked at him. 

"I think so," she whispered. "I'm sorry. I don't want you to be stuck waiting and wondering. I just - I don't know how to do this."

His shoulders slumped, but he smiled. Jane realized he was a different kind of brave and strong than Weller. "You don't have to do anything. I'll miss you, and if you change your mind at any time you call me. I'm very sorry, Jane."

It wasn't his fault. It really wasn't, and she felt terrible as he stood back deliberately and nodded at Weller as if to concede her to his care. Jane kissed Oliver's cheek and hurried back to Tasha, eager to have someone get her home without forcing her to have another heavy conversation.

The other woman hugged her again, and Jane held on for a minute until the urge to cry was mostly under control. 

"I know, honey, I'm sorry," Tasha said. "On the bright side, I found a tutorial online that teaches you how to make your ovaries into dangly earrings once they dry up!"

Weller frowned, Reade made a disgusted face, and Jane laughed with a gulp. 

"That sounds cute," she said gamely. "I know it's late and technically Roman doesn't get visitors whenever he wants, but I'd like to see him in person. I feel like he's not going to believe I'm okay until he sees me."

Kurt nodded eagerly, finally peeling his eyes away from Oliver's retreat. "Pellington won't be around this late. Keep it short and you can go see Roman," he said. "Reade and I should really go offer to drop Oliver home in the second SUV. Everyone else here is local PD and it's a two hour round trip for them. The local chief offered to keep someone on the scene until we can get techs through in the morning. It's the least I can do not to take another one of his guys."

Reade was finally able to hand off the almost hot drink, and Jane sipped it with a quick thank you. She smiled at him and glanced back at the cabin. It didn't look like a place where terrible things happened. It wasn't even that isolated. Now that she was looking, there were lights from other cabins through the trees. 

"Okay," she nodded. 

He paused, looking at her searchingly. "Do you need anything before I go? You can have the keys to get dropped off at my place if you don't want to go home."

"I'm okay to go home," Jane said. "Thank you. It's not Oliver's fault. Be nice to him, please?"

Kurt paused, his impulse clearly to stay with Jane and delegate Oliver's ride. But he'd already said he would do it, and Tasha had assigned herself as Jane's driver. 

"He's had a rough day," Kurt acknowledged, leaning in and giving her the mildest hug over the thick blanket. "Sleep in tomorrow and I'll see you later in the day if you're up to it."

Jane shook her head. "I'll be in. I don't want to stay home alone," she said. 

Tasha snorted, a deliberately loud and obnoxious interruption. "Oh, you have no idea. Patterson is still at the office. We're doing a sleepover, and we won't be in until the afternoon, Boss," she said firmly. "Let's get going. Jane needs to get warm."

She was bundled into the SUV and tried to drink the coffee, hoping to feel better so she could reassure Roman. Zapata had a few words with Reade, definitely instructions about keeping Kurt off Oliver's back in case the rivalry wasn't entirely dead. Jane sighed and tried to let her mind go quiet. 

She should feel grateful to be alive. She'd just been getting used to having a little bit of fun and companionship without ties to her troubles. 

Tasha jumped into the driver's seat and put a pack of tissues on the dash. "Just in case," she said. "I hate it when something gets you so bad you can't stop crying and men are just flapping their arms and flailing. It's the cry switch. You can't turn it off until you're finished crying."

Jane gave an embarrassed shrug. "I think I'm done, but it felt like it wasn't going to stop."

"You can't rationalize your way around it. You just have to let it happen."

"Thank you for getting me out of there. I know they were trying to help, but that was overwhelming," she said. 

"That's their version of of the cry switch. It's the gotta fix it switch. Don't let anyone push you around," Tasha said. "Except me, because I give great advice. Amazing."


End file.
